Wednesday Weigh-In #14: NEW SCALE

I am so depressed right now.

Last night, I came to realize that my scale was broken. I got on it just to check things out and get a little preview for the morning, and it said 180 lbs. And then the numbers started going up. And then they started going down. And Hubbo got on and it said he was in the 140s, which he’s not, and then it said he was in the 150s, which he’s also not.

We bought a new scale – a fancy one that claims to tell you your body fat and water weight percentage. It also tells me that I am not as light as I thought I was.

The thing is that I don’t know when my other scale started to go crazy. How long have I been deluding myself? Did I ever really hit my goal of 191 lbs? I’m not sure if the scale was broken the whole time or if it just happens to register less weight on it in general. It’s so frustrating not to know!

But because I don’t know, I can’t adjust any of my prior records. And so this week will show up as a gain on my track record because, although I’m fairly certain that I didn’t gain weight, the new scale shows a bigger number than the old scale. 

So here’s the bitter truth (as told by new scale):

 

Starting Weight: 226.5 lbs
Last Weigh-In: 192.5
Current Weight: 194.4 lbs
Weight Lost This Week: gained 1.9 lbs
Total Weight Lost: 32.1 lbs

Starting Waist: 45 in
Last Weigh-In: 36.5
Current Waist: 36.5 in
Inches Lost This Week: 0 in
Total Inches Lost: 8.5 in

Starting Hips: 47 in
Last Weigh-In: 42.75 in
Current Hips: 42
Inches Lost This Week: 0.75 in
Total Inches Lost: 5 in

 

Day 101: Oh Make Me Over

I AM NOT OBESE!!

Ahem.

That is to say, of course: I am not obese anymore. This morning I weighed in at 191 lbs, and my BMI is officially under 30. Soon, probably tomorrow, I will be heading to Dillard’s or Macy’s to pick up a pair of these, or something like them, as my reward. I will also try to get a photo of myself sometime today.

This is a huge, huge, HUGE goal for me. I have been looking forward to this for a long time. Wow. (See the goals page for info on my next goal.)

Now, I’d like to take this opportunity to discuss the BMI (Body Mass Index), as some of you out there are no doubt peeved that I seem to put so much stock into the 0.1 point on this scale that separates the obese from the overweight. In fact, there are some of you out there who may think that the BMI might be better entitled the BSI – that is, the index of something else entirely.

For those of you new to this argument, wiki discusses both the uses and the limitations of the BMI scale. For those of you who have already formulated an opinion on the matter, allow me to explain myself.

I know that the BMI does not take into account different body types, how much muscle you have compared to fat, your age, or lots of other variables. I know that degrees of obesity and weight problems should only be measured on a person-by-person basis. I know that some bodies function better when they carry around more or less weight than others. I know.

But I also know this. There has to be a line somewhere. I’ve chosen the line drawn by the medical industry, and I’ve chosen it simply because I know that my doctor can no longer call me obese according to her own standards. Since I really am trying to lose weight for my health (more on this later), this seems like a logical place to start, and as good as any other.

And now that that spiel is done… I am so happy I could cry because I weigh 191 lbs omg!!!1! Ok. </fangirl flashback>

So, about my health…

I realized the other night that as much as I am concerned that I look good by the end of this (who would want to lose 71-81 lbs and still look flabby, after all?), I really am doing this for my health. I know, I know: I’ve been saying that the whole time. But you know, I didn’t realize until recently that it was actually true.

I mean, think about it. In September of 2006 I got engaged. Around that time I probably weighed somewhere in the mid-190s (more than I do now, ha!) and was uncomfortable with my body image. But was I uncomfortable enough to lose weight, even considering the knowledge that I would be appearing in a wedding gown nine months later in front of all my friends and family, and considering that I would keep pictures of myself from that day for the rest of my happily-ever-after life? 

Nope, not. In fact, I gained weight between getting engaged and getting married. I gained weight between buying my dress and getting married. It was pretty difficult for the bridesmaids to zip me into that thing (a 16w, and that’s before I gained the 25 lbs that put me at 230 on April 7th of this year), let me tell you. Body image has never been a good enough motivating factor for me, people. I just didn’t have enough willpower to not eat what I wanted just because I thought I might look better. Who’d care if I looked better anyway, right?

And then this year I got scared. This year the doctor tested me for diabetes and a thyroid problem. This year I realized that if I didn’t make the change voluntarily, I’d have to make it to save my own life later on down the road. It was a week after that – not a week after getting engaged or buying a dress or even getting married – that I got serious and went on SBD.

I guess the point of all that was just to pat myself on the back for not letting vanity be my motivator. Of course, it’s not like my health couldn’t have motivated me a little earlier… But that’s beside the point.

Anyway, I know this post has gotten a bit long, but last but not least on the topics of conversation today: the blog makeover! Yes, the blog got a makeover because I know one is due for me fairly soon; if I look different, why not the blog? This week I’ve started having to toss out some pants and shirts that I’ve worn for the last time; they’re simply so big on me now that they either won’t stay up or make me look bigger than I am (never a good thing). I still have some of my smaller clothes that I’m getting back into, but these have definitely seen their last. And pretty soon… I will have to buy some new stuff.

Day 74: I Did It!

Finally! 199 lbs as of this morning. Despite the working out yesterday. W00t!

I am fairly sore today, but it’s not from C25K. I was fine when I woke up, but we went to the gym and did some weights and I am kind of paying for it now. Hopefully all the soreness will subside by the time Monday rolls around for Week 2, Run 1.

Anyway, as far as setting another goal goes… I’m not quite sure what I’m going to do yet. Do I want to set an 8 lb goal to get to 191 lbs? It seems kind of far out of reach. I like setting very short-term goals so I can feel the affirmation of accomplishing them often. It could take two months (though hopefully it won’t) for me to lose 8 lbs!

The other thing is that I haven’t decided yet whether I am going to go on Phase I for another week in July. Hubbo and I have been talking about going camping again – possibly for two nights this time – over the holiday weekend, and I’m worried it will set me back really far again. I don’t want to experience another week of losing nothing. Also, there is that wedding we are going to on July 18th. Do I want to accelerate the weight loss a bit before that? I don’t know…

So here’s what I’m going to do. As of right now, I’m assuming that I will not be back on Phase I any time soon. If that changes, then I just meet the goal early, which is fine and great. I’m going to aim for 195 lbs. This is halfway from where I am to my “big deal goal” of 191 lbs (where I go from being obese to overweight according to the BMI.) And I’m going to give myself three weeks to lose the four pounds, just in case camping hurts me really bad. The definitive date will be July 23rd. And like I said, if I come in early: great.

So in case you hadn’t noticed, goal-setting is really hard for me. I’m sorry to draw it out and over-analyze it like this, but I’m always afraid that I will set a goal that is not realistic and that I can’t meet. I guess I feel like if I don’t meet a goal, the part of me that doesn’t believe I can lose this weight will take over and I will give in to the idea that I am a failure. I am a fairly easily discouraged person, so I really need to accomplish what I say I’m going to when I put these goals in writing. That’s why I agonize over each one. I guess what I’m trying to say is: I’m sorry if it seems overly-dramatic, but that’s the truth about how I’m feeling. Most of you are reading this to find out what I am experiencing on this journey, and sometimes obsession is the honest-to-God truth of it.

Day 70: Do Your Body Good

Slightly sore legs this morning. I almost thought I was going to get away with no pains as I was feeling great all the way through last night. Oh well. Just kind of stiff is all – hopefully I will be feeling better before tomorrow’s walk/run.

So this morning I was feeling a little adventurous, and I tried the book’s Oatmeal Pancake recipe. I did not like it the way the recipe was written, but I will try it again with some alterations. To me, the mix was way too sweet and the nutmeg was overpowering. In fact, I think I will leave the nutmeg out completely if I make it again. Also, the batter is very thin so it was difficult to flip the pancake. Next time I will probably make two small ones instead of the one large. I did find some good sugar-free syrup though (at least I think it was good – hard to tell with all that nutmeg flavor.)

Anyway, lost a half-pound again. It could have been more but I had a cookie from Quizno’s last night. And my sandwich was a Honey Bacon Club, which of course has sugars in it. But I don’t feel bad about it – my body felt great after I had that sandwich. Pretty sure it needed that, and what my body needs is more important than how much weight I lose.

In other news, I just donated half a liter of red blood cells. The phlebotomist really phlubbed (haha, get it?) it up today and my arm is super-sore from the plasma returns, but I will live. I had a little popcorn at the center so that I wouldn’t pass out or anything and they gave me one of those instant hot-packs. I’m sure I’ll get a nasty bruise, but we’ll see how this anomale affects the weight loss.

That’s about all I guess. Hopefully I will still be able to get to my goal of 199 by July 2nd. I realized after I set the goal that I didn’t give myself as much time as I thought, so it might be a pretty close call (especially considering the camping trip.)

Day 63: Surprising Success

The scale said 201.5 lbs today. What?! I wasn’t expecting that. I got off and got back on several times, though, and it stayed the same. Another pound-and-a-half gone. Wow! I just really hope I don’t gain it back tomorrow. I want my weeklong low for weigh-in day (although it doesn’t usually work out like that).

I don’t know why, but I am still surprised whenever the scale jumps like that. I had almost convinced myself that it wasn’t worth it for me to do two weeks of Phase I – that the second week I never lose more than I would on Phase II anyway. Well, I guess I done got served.

Anyway, something I forgot to mention yesterday amid all the talk about rewards and goals and whatnot – I didn’t say what my next goal was going to be now that I’ve hit the 10% goal! I’ve set it for 199 lbs to break the 200 mark. And since yesterday I weighed 203, I gave myself three weeks to hit it – looks like I should be coming in a little early if things keep happening the way they are. But we’ll see… I don’t want to count my chickens, you know?

I guess I will leave you with that. I am in a fantastic mood today. Two months and two days after beginning, I have hit the 25 lb loss mark. Awesome!

Day 62: Achievement Awards

Hi there! 

Sorry to have disappeared for the weekend. We had a fairly busy one what with Father’s Day being my grandfather’s 93rd birthday and all. (I had one bite of Hubbo’s piece of cake, by the way, and that was after I passed around the bread, potato salad, and fresh fruit without taking a scoop. It was so good I wanted to cry.) Anyway, to make it up to you, I’ve put up a new Rewards Page! This is where I’m listing the little celebratory things I will give myself when I hit certain goals. If I were smart, I would have done this a while back and included something for a 10% weight loss. Unfortunately, I would feel cheap listing a reward for a goal I’ve just hit – it doesn’t seem quite fair to add that into my self-contract late. 

That’s right, I said I’ve hit it. Both yesterday and today I weighed in at 203 lbs. Over ten percent of my weight is gone. Woohoo! And I am so close to being under 200 lbs I can smell it. There is nothing special about breaking the 200 mark, I know, but it really is just going to feel so nice to know that the first number in my weight is a one. I’m going to feel like I really accomplished something there.

And I gotta tell ya: the end of Phase I (Part II) is coming, and I cannot wait. I don’t crave carbs, I’m just bored with the menu!

Wednesday Weigh-In #7, and Sizing things Up!

Good morning!

So, since this is measurement day and all, I feel it’s appropriate to tell you: I’ve lost a cup size! (Also, I find it interesting to note that I find it “appropriate” to share that information with the outside world ever, but this being a diet blog and all…) Yesterday, after several days of noticing that my bust size was perceivably smaller, I decided to measure. I had been fighting this because the way my bras were fitting made me think they were too small, despite what I visually noticed in my body. Turns out I was wearing a band size too small and a cup size too large – no wonder they didn’t fit right! This is a major NSV for me. Bra-shopping has always been one of my worst enemies, just because it was so difficult to find anything that fit that wasn’t made for a granny. Even if my band size still makes it difficult to shop for bras, that won’t be the case for long. I am losing and it is making a difference.

It is nice to finally lose a size in something. It’s kind of disappointing to me that I’ve lost over 20 lbs and still wear the same pants size. Unfortunately, that’s what happens to people who don’t own up to their weight gain and continue wearing sizes too small for them (we’re talking major muffin-top issues here) like me. Now that my pants actually do fit, I probably have lost a pants-size. I just haven’t gotten to celebrate by needing to buy new pants.

Anyway, onto today’s stats!

 

Starting Weight: 226.5 lbs
Last Weigh-In: 211 lbs
Current Weight: 204.5 lbs
Weight Lost This Week: 6.5 lbs
Total Weight Lost: 22 lbs

Starting Waist: 45 in
Last Weigh-In: 40.5 in
Current Waist: 39.5 in
Inches Lost This Week:   1 in
Total Inches Lost: 5.5 in

Starting Hips: 47 in
Last Weigh-In: 44.5 in
Current Hips: 44 in
Inches Lost This Week: 0.5 in
Total Inches Lost: 3 in

 

I’m pretty excited that I will definitely be hitting another of my important goals this week even though I didn’t actually set a date for it. I am days – maybe one day – away from hitting 204 lbs: loss of 10% of my weight. I already technically lost all the weight I gained over the past year – April 07 to April 08 – when I hit 205 lbs yesterday, even though I lumped those two together in the Goals page. Woohoo! Finally hitting that big 10% is important to me. Apparently, it greatly improves your health to lose 10% of your body weight even if you’re still overweight. 

Well, that’s all folks. One more week of Phase I (Part II) to go. 

Phase II, Day ??: Return from Splurge

Hello again all!

Back from a fabulous week-long vacation in sunny San Diego and revving up to getting back on track! Hubbo and I had a wonderful time relaxing. We got back Saturday night and spent yesterday hanging around the house relaxing, catching up on laundry and mail, etc. This morning I am at 213.5 lbs – so I gained no more than I said I could.

I am back on Phase II as of today, but I’ll actually be restarting Phase I on Wednesday. I’ll stay on that for at least a week, maybe two, to get my body chemistry healthy again. I will say that I was fairly good on vacation, but my downfall was definitely alcohol. I drank wine (and not only red) nearly every day, and had a couple of beers to boot. I’m pretty sure that is where most of my weight gain came from, considering the amount of walking that we did. (Of course, we did a fair amount of lying out on the beach as well…)

So yes, I gained weight, but I knew I would. I am not going to let this discourage me. And let’s hope Phase I goes as well this time around as it did the first! I will not be setting any goals/dates for goals until I finish with Phase I again, as I find that phase to be kind of unpredictable, but hopefully it will take me back down to my pre-vacation weight (209.5), at least.

I will also be adding a new page to the blog today once this entry is published – pictures! That’s right. I’m going to put up some photos of me at my heaviest, and one of me down the 18 lbs so you can see the difference. Hopefully as I progress I will have many more to come. Check back later to see!

Phase II, Day 24: Reclaiming my Goal

New low of 209 lbs this morning. That’s down 1.5 lbs from yesterday.

Geesh. See what happens when I don’t cheat and I quit carrying water-weight around in my uterus?

I’m glad to see this loss, finally. I knew I didn’t deserve a loss for the weigh-in yesterday because I fell off the wagon so badly, but seeing the weight come off is the biggest motivator to continue faithfully with the diet foods. It was hard not to cheat yesterday, and I really came thisclose to having a candy bar. But I was good (Mocha Ricotta Creme satisfied my chocolate craving instead) and it paid off.

Huzzah!

Oh, and by the way: I went bathing-suit shopping in preparation for the va-cay the other day. Yes, I am still over 200 lbs and by no means have a “beach body,” but I was surprised that I am much more comfortable with my upper thighs than I have been in years. I am surprised about this because I still weigh more than I did at this time last year, and I have some pictures of myself in my bathing suit back then. Yuck! But I guess it’s not all about weight-loss; sometimes it’s about weight-redistribution. Anyway, what I’m trying to say is: I didn’t buy a bathing suit that has boyshorts or a skirt on the bottom to help cover my giant thighs. They are still bigger than I want them, and jiggly, but they are by no means unsightly (in my opinion, at least) anymore.

Phase II, Day 18: Goal #4 Achieved

I made it to 209.5 lbs this morning. That’s 17 lbs lost total. Rockin’.

Anyway, Hubbo and I went on our weekly “date” last night and ate at Chili’s. I was really good! I found this really helpful nutritional info chart on their website (first link takes you to a .pdf of the file) and I decided what I would have before I went. For those who are curious – or just living vicariously through my diet meals – I had the Guiltless Black Bean Burger on a Whole Wheat Bun. It comes with a side of steamed veggies, and I also ordered a salad with Chipotle Ranch Dressing (it’s actually lower in calories than some of their vinaigrettes!) I also allowed myself a Diet Coke. The whole thing was fairly delicious, I must say, but the best part was that we both ate for $21 not including tip.

Now, some of you are out there thinking, “Wow, she eats a lot for being on a diet.” And yes, my dinner last night did turn out to be somewhere around 750 calories. But I think it’s important that I share something with you – especially those of you who read this blog because you’re considering going on the South Beach Diet yourselves.

After this crazy rant of a post wherein I discovered I might actually have been inadvertently starving myself, I started upping my calorie intake. Now, I don’t know about everybody else’s bodies, but 1200 calories a day just did not do it for mine. I stopped losing for a good week.

The thing is, I didn’t really feel that hungry. I was still eating throughout the day; it’s just that all the things I was eating were so low-calorie that it didn’t add up to much. Using my-calorie-counter to compare my calorie-intake with my weight loss, I’ve discovered that my body actually needs me to eat between 1450 and 1700 calories a day in order to lose weight. On days when I don’t hit 1400, I gain. Now, I’m not a doctor, so don’t take this as any medical advice or anything; I’m just telling you what’s worked for me.

As a result, though, I have to be very careful to monitor what I eat and what I don’t throughout the day. When we decided to go to Chili’s last night, for example, I decided what I wanted and tallied it in. At that point, I realized that just ordering the Black Bean Burger, if I got it on whole wheat, would not do it for me, and I found a salad and some salad dressing to add as well.

I don’t want to sound preachy with this at all, because I’m obviously a compulsive eater who is struggling with her weight as much as anybody out there. But I’m going to say the terrible thing that all of us compulsive eaters hate to hear, and I’m going to say it because it’s true: be conscious of what you’re eating and what your body needs you to eat. If you pay attention to what you put in your mouth and listen to your body’s responses, you will succeed.

I’m not trying to get all intuitive eating on anybody, and in fact, here is a fabulous post I found the other day that voices my true (negative) opinion of that idea. But if you track what you eat and watch what the scale does after you eat it, you are sure to notice some trends and be able to place limitations on yourself that are proper for you.

And to end with something completely cliché, please remember: every body is different!