I AM NOT OBESE!!
Ahem.
That is to say, of course: I am not obese anymore. This morning I weighed in at 191 lbs, and my BMI is officially under 30. Soon, probably tomorrow, I will be heading to Dillard’s or Macy’s to pick up a pair of these, or something like them, as my reward. I will also try to get a photo of myself sometime today.
This is a huge, huge, HUGE goal for me. I have been looking forward to this for a long time. Wow. (See the goals page for info on my next goal.)
Now, I’d like to take this opportunity to discuss the BMI (Body Mass Index), as some of you out there are no doubt peeved that I seem to put so much stock into the 0.1 point on this scale that separates the obese from the overweight. In fact, there are some of you out there who may think that the BMI might be better entitled the BSI – that is, the index of something else entirely.
For those of you new to this argument, wiki discusses both the uses and the limitations of the BMI scale. For those of you who have already formulated an opinion on the matter, allow me to explain myself.
I know that the BMI does not take into account different body types, how much muscle you have compared to fat, your age, or lots of other variables. I know that degrees of obesity and weight problems should only be measured on a person-by-person basis. I know that some bodies function better when they carry around more or less weight than others. I know.
But I also know this. There has to be a line somewhere. I’ve chosen the line drawn by the medical industry, and I’ve chosen it simply because I know that my doctor can no longer call me obese according to her own standards. Since I really am trying to lose weight for my health (more on this later), this seems like a logical place to start, and as good as any other.
And now that that spiel is done… I am so happy I could cry because I weigh 191 lbs omg!!!1! Ok. </fangirl flashback>
So, about my health…
I realized the other night that as much as I am concerned that I look good by the end of this (who would want to lose 71-81 lbs and still look flabby, after all?), I really am doing this for my health. I know, I know: I’ve been saying that the whole time. But you know, I didn’t realize until recently that it was actually true.
I mean, think about it. In September of 2006 I got engaged. Around that time I probably weighed somewhere in the mid-190s (more than I do now, ha!) and was uncomfortable with my body image. But was I uncomfortable enough to lose weight, even considering the knowledge that I would be appearing in a wedding gown nine months later in front of all my friends and family, and considering that I would keep pictures of myself from that day for the rest of my happily-ever-after life?
Nope, not. In fact, I gained weight between getting engaged and getting married. I gained weight between buying my dress and getting married. It was pretty difficult for the bridesmaids to zip me into that thing (a 16w, and that’s before I gained the 25 lbs that put me at 230 on April 7th of this year), let me tell you. Body image has never been a good enough motivating factor for me, people. I just didn’t have enough willpower to not eat what I wanted just because I thought I might look better. Who’d care if I looked better anyway, right?
And then this year I got scared. This year the doctor tested me for diabetes and a thyroid problem. This year I realized that if I didn’t make the change voluntarily, I’d have to make it to save my own life later on down the road. It was a week after that – not a week after getting engaged or buying a dress or even getting married – that I got serious and went on SBD.
I guess the point of all that was just to pat myself on the back for not letting vanity be my motivator. Of course, it’s not like my health couldn’t have motivated me a little earlier… But that’s beside the point.
Anyway, I know this post has gotten a bit long, but last but not least on the topics of conversation today: the blog makeover! Yes, the blog got a makeover because I know one is due for me fairly soon; if I look different, why not the blog? This week I’ve started having to toss out some pants and shirts that I’ve worn for the last time; they’re simply so big on me now that they either won’t stay up or make me look bigger than I am (never a good thing). I still have some of my smaller clothes that I’m getting back into, but these have definitely seen their last. And pretty soon… I will have to buy some new stuff. 
