Day 76: Fail.

Just a note – I added some links on my page and revamped the photos page a bit the other night. I didn’t add a new shot yet – Hubbo says I should wait for the eight pounds until I hit a really noticeable difference at 191 lbs. Here’s to hoping that it will be worth the wait!

So on to the update…

C25K Week 2 Run 1 was a bust. I didn’t finish. I got through half of the fifth (second-to-last) 90-second run and couldn’t do any more. It’s weird, because on the second run, I felt totally in the groove. I thought I had found my rhythm, you know? This is mostly because in Robert Ullrey’s Week 2 podcast, he mentioned something that I really keyed into. Since I’ve never been a runner, I don’t really know how to run, but on the podcast he gave a tip: try to run on your heels and not your toes. Wow! That made a huge difference in being able to extend my legs even at a slower speed!

But it seems I also might have tired myself out doing it. By the third run, the two-minute recovery periods weren’t enough for me. I was still out of breath at that point. By the fifth run, I wanted to die, and just couldn’t take it anymore.

I’m disappointed that I didn’t make myself finish, but I will get over it. I was going to have to repeat this week anyway since I will be out of town, camping in the mountains, when I’m supposed to be doing this week’s third run. This just gives me opportunity to improve.

On the bright side, my legs – which were still sore from Saturday’s weight-lifting this morning – feel a lot better in some places after the run. Others not so much, but I guess you win some and you lose some.

Anyway, this morning I weigh 199.5 again. I am ok with that though, because I had a really weird eating day yesterday (could this have affected this morning’s run?). I had a planned cheat meal for breakfast. I had just been craving this meal for about six weeks and I decided to go ahead and order it. If you are from my area, then you have heard of the Flying Star Cafe. That’s where we went yesterday. They serve lots of absolutely amazing regional food (not to mention their fabulous, famous desserts). I ordered my favorite: the Southwest Bennies. It’s basically an order of Eggs Benedict with spicy sausage patties and a green chile hollendaise. Oh yeah, and a bunch of cheese.

Guys, breakfast took me through until 4:30 in the afternoon. I know it wasn’t the best decision of what to eat, but at least I didn’t overeat. That, I’m proud of.

Another weekend victory? I didn’t eat popcorn (though it smelled absolutely amazing) when we went to see Wanted this weekend. Seeing the movie was definitely a lapse in judgment (just watch The Matrix and pause it every three seconds to say the f-word for the same effect), but at least the diet stayed strong.

Day 74: I Did It!

Finally! 199 lbs as of this morning. Despite the working out yesterday. W00t!

I am fairly sore today, but it’s not from C25K. I was fine when I woke up, but we went to the gym and did some weights and I am kind of paying for it now. Hopefully all the soreness will subside by the time Monday rolls around for Week 2, Run 1.

Anyway, as far as setting another goal goes… I’m not quite sure what I’m going to do yet. Do I want to set an 8 lb goal to get to 191 lbs? It seems kind of far out of reach. I like setting very short-term goals so I can feel the affirmation of accomplishing them often. It could take two months (though hopefully it won’t) for me to lose 8 lbs!

The other thing is that I haven’t decided yet whether I am going to go on Phase I for another week in July. Hubbo and I have been talking about going camping again – possibly for two nights this time – over the holiday weekend, and I’m worried it will set me back really far again. I don’t want to experience another week of losing nothing. Also, there is that wedding we are going to on July 18th. Do I want to accelerate the weight loss a bit before that? I don’t know…

So here’s what I’m going to do. As of right now, I’m assuming that I will not be back on Phase I any time soon. If that changes, then I just meet the goal early, which is fine and great. I’m going to aim for 195 lbs. This is halfway from where I am to my “big deal goal” of 191 lbs (where I go from being obese to overweight according to the BMI.) And I’m going to give myself three weeks to lose the four pounds, just in case camping hurts me really bad. The definitive date will be July 23rd. And like I said, if I come in early: great.

So in case you hadn’t noticed, goal-setting is really hard for me. I’m sorry to draw it out and over-analyze it like this, but I’m always afraid that I will set a goal that is not realistic and that I can’t meet. I guess I feel like if I don’t meet a goal, the part of me that doesn’t believe I can lose this weight will take over and I will give in to the idea that I am a failure. I am a fairly easily discouraged person, so I really need to accomplish what I say I’m going to when I put these goals in writing. That’s why I agonize over each one. I guess what I’m trying to say is: I’m sorry if it seems overly-dramatic, but that’s the truth about how I’m feeling. Most of you are reading this to find out what I am experiencing on this journey, and sometimes obsession is the honest-to-God truth of it.

Day 73: Three Runs Down

I was so wound up about my little weight gain yesterday that it took me several hours before I noticed: my legs weren’t sore from C25K the day before. Bizarre, right? It was only my second run, but my body seems very interested in cooperating with me already. Sweet.

As for today, I had a completely unreliable weigh-in. When I first got on the scale, it said 199.5 two times. Then it started saying 201 over and over. I got frustrated with that and moved the scale to re-set it and start over. After that, it said 199 once and then 200 lbs several times in a row. I hate it when the scale can’t decide how much I weigh.

But since I am such a masochistic glutton for punishment, I got on the scale again after I finished Week 1, Run 3 – just to check in you know? (Read: I am completely neurotic and must know exactly how much I weigh every day.) That time, the scale did not deviate – it picked 199.5 lbs and stuck with it, despite the fact that I had eaten breakfast and had half a liter of water by this point. So that’s the number I’m sticking with, too.

Anyway, Run 3 was a great success, in my opinion. I bumped up my speed a little because the slow jog on the treadmill really kills my knees – I have to take tiny steps in order for it to work. I hung out between 4.8 and 5.1 mph for the most part, although on one of my run intervals I was feeling pretty good running at 5.3 mph. I’m pretty sure this will have to decrease a bit again next week, at least for the first run. I don’t want to push too hard (and yes, jogging for 90 seconds at 5.1 mph could be pushing too hard. I am a wuss, but this is my blog, so you can’t laugh at me because I will censor you. Ha!)

Tomorrow I plan to do some weights at the gym. Cardio is great, but it does nothing for my thunder-thighs.

Day 72: Expect the Unexpected

I know that I shouldn’t be frustrated, but I am.

Like I’ve said before, I always tend to gain weight the day after I’ve gone to the gym. I don’t know why this is or how to stop it, but at least I understand the trend. Or so I thought.

Last night, I felt really light. I just knew I had lost weight yesterday. So I went ahead and weighed myself this morning.

Nope! A gain of 0.5 lbs. Why?? Why did I do it? I know what happens to my body after I work out, and yet… And now I’ve seen the gain and I’m all frustrated about it. I did this to myself. I just shouldn’t have gotten on the scale.

But never fear. I will not let this stop me. I am not plateauing and I refuse to fear the worst. It is a simple case of after-gym-weight-gain, nothing more.

ARGH.

Wednesday Weigh-In #9

Well, at least I didn’t gain.

 

Starting Weight: 226.5 lbs
Last Weigh-In: 200 lbs
Current Weight: 200 lbs
Weight Lost This Week: 0 lbs
Total Weight Lost: 26.5 lbs

Starting Waist: 45 in
Last Weigh-In: 39.5 in
Current Waist: 38.5 in
Inches Lost This Week: 1 in
Total Inches Lost: 6.5 in

Starting Hips: 47 in
Last Weigh-In: 43.5 in
Current Hips: 44 in
Inches Lost This Week: 0 in (gained 0.5 in)
Total Inches Lost: 3 in

 

In sum, I did not lose weight. I lost an inch on my waist, but a half-inch of that was just redistributed to my hips. I’m ok with that, though, because it helps my waist-hip ratio, which, by the way, has decreased from a whopping 0.957 in April to a slightly more respectable  0.875 today. Just as a reference point, wiki says that women reach a healthy ratio at 0.7.

Anyway, I completed Week 1, Run 2 of C25K today. It seemed a lot harder than the first run. Maybe I just wasn’t fueled properly? Also, I did not have a bruise from giving blood when I woke up this morning, but I did have one after the run. Perhaps it wasn’t the best idea to go today, but what can I do? There will always be an excuse and if I allow myself to accept them then I will never go.

Despite a bad weigh-in this week, I will not give up.

Day 70: Do Your Body Good

Slightly sore legs this morning. I almost thought I was going to get away with no pains as I was feeling great all the way through last night. Oh well. Just kind of stiff is all – hopefully I will be feeling better before tomorrow’s walk/run.

So this morning I was feeling a little adventurous, and I tried the book’s Oatmeal Pancake recipe. I did not like it the way the recipe was written, but I will try it again with some alterations. To me, the mix was way too sweet and the nutmeg was overpowering. In fact, I think I will leave the nutmeg out completely if I make it again. Also, the batter is very thin so it was difficult to flip the pancake. Next time I will probably make two small ones instead of the one large. I did find some good sugar-free syrup though (at least I think it was good – hard to tell with all that nutmeg flavor.)

Anyway, lost a half-pound again. It could have been more but I had a cookie from Quizno’s last night. And my sandwich was a Honey Bacon Club, which of course has sugars in it. But I don’t feel bad about it – my body felt great after I had that sandwich. Pretty sure it needed that, and what my body needs is more important than how much weight I lose.

In other news, I just donated half a liter of red blood cells. The phlebotomist really phlubbed (haha, get it?) it up today and my arm is super-sore from the plasma returns, but I will live. I had a little popcorn at the center so that I wouldn’t pass out or anything and they gave me one of those instant hot-packs. I’m sure I’ll get a nasty bruise, but we’ll see how this anomale affects the weight loss.

That’s about all I guess. Hopefully I will still be able to get to my goal of 199 by July 2nd. I realized after I set the goal that I didn’t give myself as much time as I thought, so it might be a pretty close call (especially considering the camping trip.)

Day 69: C25K Kickoff!

I did it! It wasn’t even that hard really. 

I am talking about Week 1, Run 1 of C25K of course. Now, don’t get me wrong. I did not want to go to the gym this morning. And when I made myself go and I did get there, I wanted to run to the elliptical machines and just do my regular interval workout. But, thanks to you, I got on the treadmill. I couldn’t figure out what I would say here if I didn’t do the walk/run. So I went to the little cardio room (our gym has two; I went to the small one with all the old machines where there were about 90% fewer people to watch my pathetic attempt at running) and turned on my week one podcast.

It got progressively easier as I continued, and the sixty second runs went by really fast. Now, I wasn’t really “running” at all – I was jogging at 4.5 mph (bumped up to 5 mph for the last one). But it was something. I was proud

Anyway, this morning I had only lost half a pound (201.5 lbs), probably because I had a lot of carbs yesterday. They were all good carbs, but there were a lot of them. Cereal and fruit in the morning, wrap from Subway for lunch, and soft tacos on whole wheat tortillas at night. 

I’m going to try not to weigh in tomorrow because usually the day after the gym I gain, but we’ll see what happens. But! Hubbo reminded me of something yesterday when I said that my weigh-in might be pretty bad this week due to weight gained while camping – I am giving blood tomorrow! What a way to cheat and get rid of a couple of pounds, huh?

Day 68: Diet Busted

No one is immune.

After 65 successful days (except for our vacation) doing – let’s face it – pretty awesome controlling myself, I busted my diet.

It’s ok though. I am back on track today (though I weighed in at 202 lbs again this morning. Weigh-in this week probably won’t be all that great.)

Things I Ate on the Camping Trip (with no-no items in red.)
Slim Jim
2 S’mores
Fried eggs
Breakfast Potatoes
Strawberries
Whole Wheat English Muffin
Almonds
Hamburger on Whole Wheat Bun with Fat-Free Cheese and Ketchup
Baked Beans
1/2 ear of roasted corn
1/2 flour tortilla
Coca-Cola
1/2 chocolate bar
1 slice Pepperoni Pizza
Low-Fat Ranch Dressing
Greek Salad with No Croutons with Greek Dressing

 

So, yeah. There’s a lot of red in that list. I’m kind of surprised I only gained 1.5 lbs. Hopefully having a clean day on the diet will help to alleviate that.

I guess that’s it. I’m very nervous about starting C25K tomorrow – I’m so afraid I’m going to come back and have to tell you all I couldn’t finish the first walk/run. I guess we’ll just have to see how it goes.

Day 66: Unexpected Circumstances

Good morning all!

Well, I write to you this morning at 200.5 lbs, which I feel is still respectable considering I had my first servings of grains yesterday. I am not at all worried about the bump up.

However, something has come up that we didn’t plan for. Hubbo and I have been invited to go camping this weekend. We are leaving this evening after work and will most likely come back tomorrow evening. This means that I am with certainty going to cheat tonight.

In my perfect situation, I wanted to be on Phase II for at least one clean week without cheating before I ate something I wasn’t supposed to, but oh well, life intervened. Anyway, we are going to bring a bunch of healthy stuff that I can eat along, so tomorrow I shouldn’t cheat too badly. We will have string cheese, celery sticks, strawberries, etc for me to snack on, and we are going to start the day with a breakfast of eggs. It’s just that tonight we are going to have burgers (I did buy whole wheat buns, though!) and s’mores.

And I am allowing myself to indulge in the s’mores.

We don’t camp very often (read: ever) so this is kind of special for us. And I also have always wanted to make sure that the diet is just a diet, and that it doesn’t interfere with my life. Honestly, we could have said “No thanks” and just not gone camping due to my dietary restrictions – it would have saved us a lot of trouble – but I don’t think that’s what this is about. If I am off the diet for one day and I have a great time, that’s fine, it’s not a tragedy. I will come back and get back on it again. Simple.

Anyway, wish us luck.

Day 65: Just Keep Swimming

Down another half-pound today. I broke 200 lbs! 199.5 lbs, hurrah!

This is probably because while I did start Phase II yesterday, all I incorporated was a cup of fruit. We’ll see what happens after I have some cereal this morning.

Anyway, I feel that I am now obliged to mention to you all that I haven’t forgotten what I said about C25K. Yes, I do still plan on starting that now that I’m on Phase II. Since each week consists of three workouts, I plan to start on Monday, and go every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday to the gym. Honestly, I have not been to the gym in several weeks, and the only exercise I’ve really gotten is swimming here at the apartment complex. But swimming is a fantastic exercise, and totally exhausting, fun, and refreshing when it’s about 100 degrees outside at 5pm.

Anyway, I WILL start C25K. My hope is that this will also cut down on the weighing-in. I find it really hard to not weigh in every day, but I think I can manage to stop when I’m exercising. Basically, I always gain the day after I exercise and then lose again the following day. The gain upsets me, and since I know it will be there, I think I can stop myself from jumping on the scale first thing every morning. So this is a side-benefit of the whole, you know, exercise thing.

Honestly, I am terrified of doing C25K. I really don’t believe I can do it at all. But I will definitely give it a shot, and repeat weeks if I feel like I didn’t do well on them. I will take my time on this and hopefully persevering at it will, like the diet, pay off.